I really need help

Dear pRoxy,

I really need help! My kid is hooked on drugs and now has no job and can’t drive because he lost his drivers license. I’ve been letting him live on my couch and giving him money to buy food and stuff but he doesn’t have enough to give his baby’s mama so she will let him see his child.

I need someone to give him a nicer place to live and transportation and more money so he can have a better life and start to feel good about himself so he’ll get off drugs. How can I get him Gov’t help asap?

Jay

Dear Jay,

First things first, you’ve got to congratulate yourself on the way you’re taking care of your child. He must certainly be going through a lot of stress and anxiety and the way you’ve helped facilitate his habits without causing him an extra burden is just remarkable. Now I’m assuming he’s over 16 since you mention he lost his driver’s license and he’s living at home so he’s probably under 30. I know there are several programs if you call HHS that can get him into a modest starter home in the $200-300,000 range thanks to new programs courtesy of President Obama where the mortgage will be paid for him. Some may even be former drug runner homes where the poor folks got scared and left town before they got on one of several government programs that would have made the home a shelter, so he might pick up a meth lab or other paraphernalia in the basement that will no doubt give him great comfort.

It’s probably important for both of you that you son get out of the house and into a place of his own. I’m sure the government can arrange for, what’s that term…conjugal visits? Depending on the state you’re located in, it might be possible that the state will provide supplementary benefits as well. With just a couple of phone calls (and probably more than a few phone transfers), your son will have housing, food stamps, free city transportation, and regular visits from government officials helping him overcome his drug habit. If you experience any problem getting this taken care of after making the calls, write or call your congressman and enlist their help. I’m sure everything will turn out fine.

pRoxy

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