The Government Isn’t Doing Enough

Dear pRoxy,

I don’t think the government is doing enough to help. I have been up three nights in a row with a teething baby. It is not fair. I am sleep deprived, and I am surrounded by people who get plenty of sleep. Can’t the government help me? Why should I have to be so tired just because my baby is teething? Is there a nighttime nursery program of any kind to help me? As soon as single payer health care goes through I can check my baby into the hospital and let the nurses take care of her. But until then, that is not an affordable (meaning free) option. What should I do? I am SOOO TIRED!!

Sincerely, Michelle

Dear Michelle,

The government rarely does enough to help and it’s directly the fault of hate filled Glenn Beck following conservatives who just don’t understand the need for charity. I feel your pain. After experiencing several newborns in our home I was totally ready for someone else to step in and give us a break. I mean by having children, you are benefiting society and so it’s only right society helps you raise your child. It takes a village.

Sleep deprivation is a serious issue. When you’re tired, you can’t entertain either your kids, or your friends after the kids are put to bed at an early hour. That’s where proxy parenting really shines. The government has a few programs ready to help you like SIDS (Strategic Infant Disruption Support) and the popular TEMP (Tired Empathy for Mothering Persons), but we’re working closely with the HHS, NEA, and BAD, to develop some new programs, such as having the government pay for add-ons to your home to provide night proxy’s a place to be out of the way while they sit up and deal with your fussy children. Of course, as you point out, once Obamacare goes through, you’ll be able to check your baby into the hospital, but rather than have to make that trip, let an in-house proxy take care of the child and save you the hassle.

pRoxy

 

  • PTPMKHK

    If you do not KNOW what to do GO AND KILL YOUSELF done

  • Ptpmkhk

    proxy parenting i need a hand to wipe my bud when i done using the toilet, becausse my hand can’t reach my ASS, please help now.

  • LuckyLu

    Michelle, hold on a little longer honey. As soon as you ween that kid the gov’t can take over. Mine went to all day free preschool when he turned 3 and they even came up to my driveway and picked him up! We lived right by the school, but they insisted on sending a bus out to our house to get him and bring him home, for FREE! He had the whole bus to himself! He had so much fun! I couldn’t wait to have that time to myself. Seriously, he drove me nuts at that age. It was nice to have others read to him, feed him and give him naps until he was ‘trained’.