Stop politicizing children over wise food policies

Oh wow, it’s been a long time since my last post. So much has happened. My government subsidized internet was turned off due to rampaging conservatives trying to say the rich in our state aren’t paying enough, but President Obama finally got my mortgage paid and I was able to use my food stamps with an internet provider to get back online. It’s been quite a battle for my rights.

It was a good thing I got back online too, because it’s just in time to see the disgusting politicizing of children that is going on. Last year I put up an article explaining how grateful we should all be that Michelle Obama had given us a better understanding of the food that needs to be on our plates at meal time and in the proportions we need to eat them. Check it out here. Now that some of these measures have gone into effect, extremist right-wing wackos have totally gone overboard thinking themselves so clever, and are using children to mock the dedicated hard work of our First Lady’s efforts to bring nutrition into the school lunchroom. Check out this disgusting display.

Now that reports are coming out that children are smuggling food into school and creating a black market by selling chocolate syrup by the squirt, something more needs to be done to clamp down and make examples of these children. We need more food police like the excellent work done in North Carolina earlier this year where a young student brought a lunch from home that consisted of a (parent-made) turkey sandwich, banana, apple juice, and potato chips. What mother in her right mind would do this? Exactly, she wasn’t in her right mind. Potato chips???  Turkey??? Turkey always makes me tired. We need energized thinking in children which comes from a healthy lunch that won’t put them to sleep. Thankfully the school was able to give this N.C. child some government approved, safe, school chicken nuggets.

We’re going to need a little more control in the lunch rooms. We can’t have kids leaving school to get more junk food. I think fines are in order like the one in Utah a few months ago where a school left a soda vending machine plugged in during lunch hours and paid a $15,000 fine. How pathetic they are to not even care about the students’ health. That vending machine ought to be taken right out of the building and shot, except some redneck would justify that as a reason to have guns, so we should just ban vending machines altogether. Instead, the people who put in the vending machines should be shot. That’s the proper role of government, to enforce things that ought to be. Kids in school should get healthy school lunches, and none of this nonsense about someone needing more food than another. Food costs money and money should be shared so food should be shared equally too. We need larger food stamp allowances and more quality restaurants that accept them. I hope you’re listening Michelle…


The Government Isn’t Doing Enough

Dear pRoxy,

I don’t think the government is doing enough to help. I have been up three nights in a row with a teething baby. It is not fair. I am sleep deprived, and I am surrounded by people who get plenty of sleep. Can’t the government help me? Why should I have to be so tired just because my baby is teething? Is there a nighttime nursery program of any kind to help me? As soon as single payer health care goes through I can check my baby into the hospital and let the nurses take care of her. But until then, that is not an affordable (meaning free) option. What should I do? I am SOOO TIRED!!

Sincerely, Michelle

Dear Michelle,

The government rarely does enough to help and it’s directly the fault of hate filled Glenn Beck following conservatives who just don’t understand the need for charity. I feel your pain. After experiencing several newborns in our home I was totally ready for someone else to step in and give us a break. I mean by having children, you are benefiting society and so it’s only right society helps you raise your child. It takes a village.

Sleep deprivation is a serious issue. When you’re tired, you can’t entertain either your kids, or your friends after the kids are put to bed at an early hour. That’s where proxy parenting really shines. The government has a few programs ready to help you like SIDS (Strategic Infant Disruption Support) and the popular TEMP (Tired Empathy for Mothering Persons), but we’re working closely with the HHS, NEA, and BAD, to develop some new programs, such as having the government pay for add-ons to your home to provide night proxy’s a place to be out of the way while they sit up and deal with your fussy children. Of course, as you point out, once Obamacare goes through, you’ll be able to check your baby into the hospital, but rather than have to make that trip, let an in-house proxy take care of the child and save you the hassle.



There IS such a thing as a FREE lunch

Where in the world has this been! Finally, I don’t have to waste my time planning meals for my family. The government has done it for me!!! If you’d like to just show up at one of the many FREE feeding areas in Utah, check this out. Your children can get free breakfast, lunch, and in some places snacks and supper. To make it even clearer for parents near Cherry Hill Elementary in Utah, we posted some helpful signs to get kids and parents straight to the door. News has also reached us that some of the meal preparation staff are going out looking for people in nearby parks to invite them over for a meal so the food doesn’t go to waste. The truly sad thing is, if the food isn’t used, the schools may lose funding for this vital program. Please make every effort to get out and get a free meal. You might as well do it since your tax dollars and those of your neighbors are supporting it.

Cherry Hill Elementary

Free Breakfast






I really need help

Dear pRoxy,

I really need help! My kid is hooked on drugs and now has no job and can’t drive because he lost his drivers license. I’ve been letting him live on my couch and giving him money to buy food and stuff but he doesn’t have enough to give his baby’s mama so she will let him see his child.

I need someone to give him a nicer place to live and transportation and more money so he can have a better life and start to feel good about himself so he’ll get off drugs. How can I get him Gov’t help asap?


Dear Jay,

First things first, you’ve got to congratulate yourself on the way you’re taking care of your child. He must certainly be going through a lot of stress and anxiety and the way you’ve helped facilitate his habits without causing him an extra burden is just remarkable. Now I’m assuming he’s over 16 since you mention he lost his driver’s license and he’s living at home so he’s probably under 30. I know there are several programs if you call HHS that can get him into a modest starter home in the $200-300,000 range thanks to new programs courtesy of President Obama where the mortgage will be paid for him. Some may even be former drug runner homes where the poor folks got scared and left town before they got on one of several government programs that would have made the home a shelter, so he might pick up a meth lab or other paraphernalia in the basement that will no doubt give him great comfort.

It’s probably important for both of you that you son get out of the house and into a place of his own. I’m sure the government can arrange for, what’s that term…conjugal visits? Depending on the state you’re located in, it might be possible that the state will provide supplementary benefits as well. With just a couple of phone calls (and probably more than a few phone transfers), your son will have housing, food stamps, free city transportation, and regular visits from government officials helping him overcome his drug habit. If you experience any problem getting this taken care of after making the calls, write or call your congressman and enlist their help. I’m sure everything will turn out fine.



Got a question you need help with? Ask pRoxy.

The Food Pyramid is Replaced

All I can say is it’s about time the government updated the food pyramid logo. Parents and kids around our neighborhood had no clue what that pyramid really meant and how much of certain food types you were supposed to eat. Spending $2 million on this logo is a bargain when you consider all the good it’s going to do in helping families understand the foods and proportions you’re supposed to be eating of each. I’m glad the vegetables area is bigger than the proteins too. The original food pyramid had us eating more grains than veggies but I never thought that was appropriate. This new image really clarifies things for the public. I only hope a campaign will follow to ensure every American gets a copy of this on a poster they can put near their dining area. I am actually really hoping they’ll come out with a graphic for breakfast and lunch as well. My granola fits into multiple categories and I’m not sure how to organize it like this plate diagram since it’s in a bowl with my soy milk. My vegan lunch sandwich also needs a diagram from the side so I can see how to layer the various items vertically like grain, vegetable, fruit, non-meat protein, dairy substitute, grain. If you agree, please share this page far and wide and lets generate support for more government diagrams!

The New Food Pyramid